If you are coping with infidelity you probably have been struggling to find good help to get through this painful stage of your relationship. It takes great strength and courage to even begin to seek help because you don’t want to feel like you are dumping your problem on someone else.
The other problem is that if you do have a few close friends or family members you can confide in, you probably are not sure how much they can help you. Unless someone has walked in your shoes and has felt the rage and resentment you are feeling how could they understand right?
Well, although your pain is unique to you others might be able to offer some objective advice to help you in coping with infidelity. The key is getting advice from real people. Who are these real people?
Coping With Infidelity
A Listener – Dealing with infidelity will require that you get stuff off your chest and out of your mind. There is too much stress involved to hold it all in. It will benefit you if you can find a friend to just listen to you. You know, someone who will just let you talk and not interrupt you or judge you or your partner. The listener might even shed a tear or two with you over a cup of coffee.
A Practical Person – You no doubt will be struggling with understanding everything about the affair and trying to decide what to do next. One day your heart will say “forgive and restore your relationship” and the next day your mind will tell you “pack up his or her stuff and sit it on the sidewalk”. Because of the pain and up and down emotions you just might make some irrational choices. A practical person can help you make sound decisions in coping with infidelity.
A Supportive Person – During this troubling time you may just need someone to say “hey I’m here for you regardless of your decision”. Sometimes it can feel like you are on an island by yourself in coping with infidelity. It can feel like you against the world. If you have a friend or family member who you know loves you and supports you, invest some time with this person.
An Experienced Person or Couple – It might be helpful to you learning from someone who has felt what you are feeling and thought what you are thinking. For example, it’s much easier to instruct someone on how rebound after heart surgery if you are either a heart surgeon or at least a survivor of such surgery. It doesn’t mean that others can’t offer helpful suggestions but it’s a little more comforting from someone who has first hand experience.
I hope you have some real people in your life to lean on while coping with infidelity. It can help you and your partner in recovering from the affair.
If you have an experienced person or couple to lean on I encourage you to discuss it among yourselves and if you both are ok with it seek some advice from them.
If you would like some additional help from someone who has felt your pain and been faced with the decisions you are trying to make now, please see here, Dealing With Infidelity