Archive | November 2015

Restoring Broken Relationships

I know if you are looking for information on restoring broken relationships then you probably are going through difficult times. I hope that you have someone to talk things out with or at least a way to relieve some of the stress because sometimes broken relationships can be overwhelming and restoring them takes time.

Are you feeling like it’s never going to be like it used to be? Have some bridges been burned that can never be restored? Well the good news is that sometimes relationships that are broken end up better than before, after a little restoring takes place.

So how are you going to restore the broken relationship that’s causing you grief?

First I would suggest you take a little time and figure out what exactly went wrong. Good relationships usually don’t get that way over night and they don’t end that quickly either.

Restoring Broken Relationships

If you know you messed up and are the cause of the broken relationship then you know what you need to do but I’ll remind you.

  1. Get clear in your mind what it is you did wrong. You may think whatever you did was not that big of a deal and definitely not a relationship ending act. However, what you think is not as important as what your ex thinks. When it’s time to apologize and your ex asks you what you are sorry for you better have the right answer.
  2. Be sincere with your apology and make sure it’s heart felt. Let your ex feel that you are serious about restoring your relationship that is broken. If he or she feels that you are just saying what sounds right but it’s not coming from the heart you will come across as a phony and blow your chances of fixing the relationship.
  3. Make sure you can commit to not making the same mistakes over and over again. The more you break your promises the harder it will be to restore your broken relationship. In other words don’t make promises you know you can’t keep.

Now, if your ex is the one who screwed up how do you go about restoring that relationship? It’s just one way to make things right. Forgive, forgive and forgive!

I know this might sound crazy but one of the fastest ways for restoring broken relationships is for two people to understand what was done, how each person was hurt and forgive the wrong doing.restoring broken relationships

You see it’s very obvious that whether or not you decide to rekindle your relationship, it’s important to mend the fences. You will not feel complete if you don’t bury the hatchet and clear the air. Once you can forgive you can begin true restoring and get the relationship back that you desire.

Restoring broken relationships can be intimidating but it doesn’t have to be complicated. You just need a little perspective and guidance and you can be on your way to getting back the bond you once had.

Don’t let time go bye without you taking the necessary steps to restore your broken relationships.

If you are dealing with some broken marriage issues and you need restoring with your spouse please read more here; Restoring Broken Marriage Relationships

 

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Cheating Spouse Help

I’m sorry you need  cheating spouse help but I’m hoping I can help you get through this difficult time in your life. Maybe you are dealing with a cheating spouse or worries that your spouse might be straying? Unfortunately you are not alone. Some statistics show that 22% of men and 14% of women have cheated on their spouse. The bad news is that these percentages are probably low. Who really wants to own up to cheating on their spouse?

The strange thing about infidelity is that 90% of all Americans believe that infidelity is wrong. With that being the case you would think that more spouses would avoid committing adultery. However, dealing with infidelity is a problem that many couples have to struggle with.

Cheating by your spouse can break your marriage but it doesn’t have to. Yes it is true that recovering from infidelity is painful and difficult. However, since you are going to be in pain for a while anyway, why not try to see if you can restore your relationship before deciding to throw in the towel. At the very least, you should be comfortable that you took the right steps and didn’t run away from the cheating but attempted to deal with it.

Cheating Spouse Help Questions

Why Did Your Spouse Cheat?

Cheating Spouse HelpTo figure out the real reason why your spouse cheated takes a little time and focus. One of the things that you will discover is that your unfaithful spouse will have trouble explaining why he or she cheated. One, they most likely are ashamed and don’t really want to talk about it. Second, with all of the pain already brought into the marriage, revealing the real reason why the cheating happened might be difficult. So what you might have to do is weed through some of the lies and half-truths.

There are some spouses who cheat because they feel as though the marriage is already over. With little hope for reconciliation they reach the conclusion that it’s ok to start on the next relationship. If there is no emotional or physical attraction to their spouse they don’t view it as cheating. Don’t get me wrong, it’s flawed logic but its how some spouses look at having an affair.

There are some spouses who just become selfish and want what they feel they are not getting in the marital relationship. It could be lack of intimacy, communication, friendship or emotional connection. Instead of dealing with the missing and broken aspects of the marriage, they choose to cheat.

How Can You Recover From Cheating Spouse?

One of the first things that I would suggest you do is figure out what you need to recover from your spouses cheating. What I mean is that you don’t want to try to just wing it. Take some time and work out a plan of what you want to happen. For example, do you want your spouse to sleep in a separate room and if so until when. Perhaps, you should make a list of all of the questions you need answers to.

It will help you tremendously if you can stay under control and focused during this difficult time. What you need is some structure and idea of what you need and where your relationship is heading. If you let your relationship just drift it will be more difficult to heal and recover from your spouses cheating.

I hope that you realize that you can make it through this dark and lonely period of your marriage. It won’t be easy but it is possible. Trust me, I know! If you would like more help in rebounding from a cheating spouse, please read here; Cheating Spouse Help

 

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Coping With Infidelity

If you are coping with infidelity you probably have been struggling to find good help to get through this painful stage of your relationship. It takes great strength and courage to even begin to seek help because you don’t want to feel like you are dumping your problem on someone else.

The other problem is that if you do have a few close friends or family members you can confide in, you probably are not sure how much they can help you. Unless someone has walked in your shoes and has felt the rage and resentment you are feeling how could they understand right?

Well, although your pain is unique to you others might be able to offer some objective advice to help you in coping with infidelity. The key is getting advice from real people. Who are these real people?

Coping With Infidelity

Coping With InfidelityWell coping with infidelity is such a difficult and private matter that the people you confide in should be some of the types listed below;

A Listener – Dealing with infidelity will require that you get stuff off your chest and out of your mind. There is too much stress involved to hold it all in. It will benefit you if you can find a friend to just listen to you. You know, someone who will just let you talk and not interrupt you or judge you or your partner. The listener might even shed a tear or two with you over a cup of coffee.

A Practical Person – You no doubt will be struggling with understanding everything about the affair and trying to decide what to do next. One day your heart will say “forgive and restore your relationship” and the next day your mind will tell you “pack up his or her stuff and sit it on the sidewalk”. Because of the pain and up and down emotions you just might make some irrational choices. A practical person can help you make sound decisions in coping with infidelity.

A Supportive Person – During this troubling time you may just need someone to say “hey I’m here for you regardless of your decision”. Sometimes it can feel like you are on an island by yourself in coping with infidelity. It can feel like you against the world. If you have a friend or family member who you know loves you and supports you, invest some time with this person.

An Experienced Person or Couple – It might be helpful to you learning from someone who has felt what you are feeling and thought what you are thinking. For example, it’s much easier to instruct someone on how rebound after heart surgery if you are either a heart surgeon or at least a survivor of such surgery. It doesn’t mean that others can’t offer helpful suggestions but it’s a little more comforting from someone who has first hand experience.

I hope you have some real people in your life to lean on while coping with infidelity. It can help you and your partner in recovering from the affair.

If you have an experienced person or couple to lean on I encourage you to discuss it among yourselves and if you both are ok with it seek some advice from them.

If you would like some additional help from someone who has felt your pain and been faced with the decisions you are trying to make now, please see here, Dealing With Infidelity

 

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Dealing With Marriage Difficulties

Dealing with marriage difficulties is such a struggle when year after year the marriage problems have gone unattended. Marriage problems are often times made more difficult when a lot of little problems add up and before you know it, there are so many problems that dealing with them all become overwhelming.

What’s making dealing with marriage difficulties so painful? Is it because your spouse makes marriage seem like hell or is it you who keeps the turbulence going in your marriage?

How does it make you feel when days go by and you haven’t said but a few mumbled words out of necessity? Does it make you happy or sad when you don’t see your spouses beautiful smile over a few days?

So you have hit a little rough spot in your marriage journey. At this point in your marriage, you probably are more concerned with making your spouse suffer than you are with dealing with your marriage difficulties. It’s a dangerous place to be in marriage when being right is more important than being happy, at peace and in love.

If you are like most couples dealing with marriage problems, your heart has been worn down and your marriage is being kept afloat by a thread. It’s like a car running on fumes with no real gas left in the tank. If your marriage difficulties have gone unattended for quite some time, you probably have very little desire to refill the tank.

Well, enough with highlighting the negatives that you no doubt are dealing with. I just wanted to paint the picture of where you might be. Sometimes when you are dealing with marriage problems it’s hard to take a step back and see how things really are.

2 Tips For Dealing With Marriage Difficulties

Stop Fighting For 60 Days – If you have been at it for a while you need to take a break from insulting, disrespecting, ignoring, fighting, withholding sex and embarrassing each other. Every time you engage in this behavior you are digging a deeper hole and burying your love for one another in it. dealing with marriage difficulties

If you agree that your marriage difficulties are causing you both to hate marriage and at times detest each other, why continue to pour salt on the wound. Make it a goal to be kind, considerate, respectful and caring towards each other for at least two months. I guarantee you that both of you will feel better about each other and will make dealing with marriage difficulties much easier.

Find Out What Has Worked For Others
-Your marriage is special I’m sure but your marriage difficulties are not. There have been countless numbers of couples who have been dealing with the marriage problems you are facing. Why not use the experience of others who have been through the struggles and overcome them?

There are probably some people close to you who could give you some practical advice on solving marriage problems. I know it’s tough to open up and let others see your strengths and weaknesses as a couple. I also need to caution you to make sure you seek advice only from those you trust. They may not be wise enough to tell you what to do but at the very least you should be confident that your private information won’t be shared with others.

I hope you take action in resolving your marriage difficulties sooner rather than later. You could be days or weeks away from giving up. During difficult marriage periods spouses often times give in to their selfish desires and have an affair. Please don’t wait until it’s too late to deal with your marriage issues. To get started resolving them today, please see here; Save The Marriage

Finally, I enjoyed spending these couples of minutes with you. I wish it were under better circumstances but I hope these tips give you some relief in dealing with your marriage problems. Again, for tips and advice on marriage issues, please see here; Dealing With Marriage Difficulties

 

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Affair Healing – 3 Tips To Help Recover After Infidelity

I would first like to say that I’m sorry you are searching for information on affair healing. There are many problems couples need to overcome to stay together and how to recover after infidelity just happens to be a big one. However, please know that it is possible to heal after an affair.

There are some who believe that healing from an affair has to be difficult and must be painful. I don’t agree with this belief. Yes there is pain and it is difficult but it’s different for each couple. Don’t accept that your affair healing has to take years and that you will probably never trust and love your partner again. If you start out believing this then you have already made your recovery after infidelity 10 times harder.

Affair Healing Tip # 1

Affair HealingDon’t sit idle waiting for recovery to come. Affair healing doesn’t happen just because time passes by. Sure you may feel better after a few days, weeks or months but the wound is still open and will never close on its own. If you want to truly be healed after an affair, you will need to take the steps to make it happen.

It’s ok to go through your grieving, sad, mad, disappointed and resentful stages but you need to be determined to move forward. If you don’t work at it you will forever be wounded.

Affair Healing Tip # 2

Clearly communicate with your partner. Regardless of your relationship you must be clear in dealing with your cheating partner. In other words, don’t confuse the matter by sending mixed signals regarding your expectations going forward. This will require that you think carefully, clearly and rationally when communicating with your mate. Don’t leave room for assumptions.

Affair Healing Tip # 3

Make a plan to recover after infidelity. It’s not quite a rehabilitation plan but it’s similar. You need to know what’s required for affair healing to occur and how you are going to get there. For example, perhaps you can journal the things you need to know, stuff you need to do and what you expect your cheating partner to do. Now, when all of these things are done you can truly know and feel that your relationship has been healed and restored. Without an understanding and vision, your affair healing will be more uncertain.

I hope you realize that I’m not minimizing the pain and broken-heart you are dealing with. What I’m trying to show you is that it’s really up to you how long your healing takes.

I also know that it’s complicated, takes hard work and commitment. However, you can recover faster than you might imagine. And yes, you can get to the point where you trust and love each other again.

If you can use some other key tips and advice on affair healing, please take 2 minutes and read here, Coping With Infidelity. I think you will see why I believe your healing can happen.

For other helping resources on restoring relationships, please visit here; Affair Healing

 

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Dealing With Infidelity

If you are hurting and have been knocked off your feet dealing with infidelity you should probably read this. I don’t have any secrets to share with you to help ease your pain. I do however hope to get you thinking about the next steps in the long journey you are on to help you in coping with infidelity.

Who Else Is Dealing With Unfaithfulness?

Dealing With Infidelity

Dealing With Infidelity Is Painful

You might feel like you are on a deserted island because of the infidelity issue in your relationship. However, unfortunately you are just one of the millions of folks who are trying to repair and rebuild their relationship because cheating has occurred.

Well, collecting statistics on who is cheating is not that easy but some organizations have captured some data. Obviously getting spouses or significant others to confess to having an affair is not easily done. Below is a picture of some data collected by the associated press. I don’t know if the percentages have increased, decreased or stayed the same over the last 5 to 10 years. If I had to guess, I would say that probably more folks are committing unfaithful acts today then in the past. My guess is based on the technology that folks have at their finger tips today that didn’t exist 5 to 10 years ago.

  • 22% Of Married Men Cheat
  • 14% Of Married Women Cheat
  • 17% Of Divorces Are Because Of Infidelity
  • 90% Of Married Couples Believe Infidelity Is Wrong

Do you see a problem with the above chart? If 90% of married folks believe that adultery is wrong, why are so many couples dealing with infidelity?

I guess for many folks they either believe that they won’t get caught or perhaps that their selfish desires are more important than their relationship.

Why Do Folks Cheat?

I think most couples plan on being faithful to one another but things happen in their relationship which leads to different actions.

Some individuals attribute their cheating simply to wanting to be happy. All they know is at the moment, their spouse or partner is not making them happy. Someone comes along who can fill that missing void and thus you have a recipe ripe for unfaithfulness.

There are other folks who in relationships that are conducive to cheating. The couples who pretty much have separate lives, outside of their home, have a greater opportunity to cheat. For one, there is not much time spent together and thus loneliness, bitterness and resentment can easily creep into such a relationship.

There are some individuals who feel entitled and thus have no problems with cheating. In their mind committing adultery is justified because of the problems in the relationship.

There are some steps you can take to help you get through this difficult time while dealing with infidelity. You can read more tips here; dealing with adultery.

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